CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: What do you think I have down there? A gnome?

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Hey, Xander!  What are you making?

XANDER:  Tequila. LOL

Hi, everyone!  Once again we find me taking a ridiculously long time to update.  It should be better now. On Monday, I get my PC back.  It’s currently being updated, and then I’m going to install all my sims games onto it and transfer my save files from my Macbook Pro over there.  Hopefully, nothing awful will happen.  But, because of that, I figured I should get one more update out of the way before The Big Move.

XANDER:  Please don’t ruin my life. D:

I will try not to, I promise.  Just close your eyes and think of the graphics.

.b

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XANDER: I’m seeing stars.  Is that normal?

Uh.  Probably not.  How about you stay away from the lab station from now on, okay?  I can’t have you dying, I need your uglies.

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So this is Xena’s new ~look.  I decided her gothiness was irritating me.  And now she plays the cello.

XENA:  It is the music of the gods~~~

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Meanwhile, on the front lawn…

Yash, your daughter’s inside playing the cello.  Maybe you should go be supportive or something.  Have you even talked to your kids in the last month?

YASH:  Eh, I don’t need to.  They’re all the same anyway.  Go to school, read Twilight, bitch about everything, rinse, repeat.  Plus, MMM BUNNY ICE CREAM.

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XENA: doo dee doo dee doo

ERICH WITH A HAIRCUT: Is it just me, or are all of my children far more exposed than they were last chapter?

XAVIER’S PACKAGE: *snerk*

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Okay, should you really be eating that trash at your age?  It’s going to clog your arteries, and I don’t think you have many of those left.

YASH: It’s okay, I put my Metamucil in it.

Oh.  Well yeah, that’s okay then.  >___>

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YASH:  I think I swallowed a fly.  <__<

Maybe you should teach your kids to do their goddamn dishes then.

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DAMN, GURL.

Xanthia, I don’t remember your ass being nearly that big last chapter.

XANTHIA:  Omg shut up, the camera adds ten pounds. D:

How many cameras did you eat?

XANTHIA:  RUDE.  >:[

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ERICH:  AHHHH I GOT SOAP IN MY FUCKING EYESSSS.

D:  Man, that shit stings.  SUCKS, BUDDY.

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Uhh.  I’m about to be scarred for life, aren’t I?

YASH:  Probably.  But my pajamas are fucking awesome.

Yes. Yes they are.

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Yeah.  Yeah.

So… this is a thing that happened.

I’m glad you guys are still, uh… active, though.  Since, you know, you’ve been married for… a while… and stuff. >_>

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Hey, Xan– wait, did… did your ass get smaller already?

XANTHIA:  No, I’m just wearing Spanx.

Oh.  Right on.

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Wait.

No.  No, you definitely got smaller!

XANTHIA:  SPANX.

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Meanwhile, while Erich’s at work, there’s an unspecified emergency over at the army base, and his firefighting squad (are they called squads?) gets called in to help.

ARMY PEOPLE:  SAVE USSSS.  SAVE US FROM THE UNSPECIFIED EMERGENCYYYY.

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ERICH:  I’m a badass fucking firefighter.

That you are, buddy.  That you are.

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YASH:  Look how cute!

Yeah.  The raccoon that knocked over your garbage and tried to eat it is super cute.  And not at all rabid.

YASH:  Can I keep him?

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RACCOON:  Bitch, I’ll cut you.

YASH:  D:

RACCOON:  I’ll cut you so bad, you gonna wish I didn’t cut you so bad.  I saw it on TV.

Yash, maybe you should just consider getting a pet or something.

d

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Hey, what’s —  Wait a minute.  Xanthia, how long have you been fucking working out?

XANTHIA:  Oh just a couple of days!

What the fuuuuuck.

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The next day, Erich gets called to somebody’s house to deal with some angry gnomes on the loose.

GNOME:  hrhhnhgndhgh;kjhg;ladhg’g  *HULKSMASH*

Seriously, what have lawn gnomes got to be angry about?

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Wait, did you… did you just knock over these peoples’ garbage can?

ERICH:  That’ll teach you not to anger your gnomes!

God, you are the worst.

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ERICH: So I grabbed that gnome by the head and I shook him real hard and then I threw him across the yard!  And I said, “COME AT ME, BRO!”  And then –

YASH’S PHONE:  RING RING

YASH:  Oh, damn, hang on a sec.

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YASH:  Hello?

ERICH:  Who is it?

XAVIER ON THE PHONE:  DAD???  DAD IS THAT YOU?

YASH:  It’s Xavier.

Oh yeah!  Where the hell did your other three kids go?  It’s been a few days since I’ve seen anyone except Xanthia.

ERICH:  Oh, we sent them all to boarding school.

XAVIER ON THE PHONE:  Dads???  Can I come home?  I hate military school. :(

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YASH:  LOL NO.

Dude.  Harsh.

XAVIER:  :(

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Well guys, that’s it for now!  I recently moved my game to my PC (about halfway through this update, actually), which I just had upgraded, so I’m hoping it runs better and then I can frolic in CC like all of you.   I keep getting Error 12s when I try to save, now, though, so I’m going to try moving to a new town.  Are the other new towns ugly?  Or should I just make a new Twinbrook?  PLEASE TELL ME.

I’ll update as soon as I get this Error 12 shit sorted out.  I promise!  :D

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<— Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Four —>

  1. BAHAHA. I’m gonna cut you so bad you’re gonna wish I didn’t cut you so bad.

  2. ‘I’m gonna cut you so bad you’re gonna wish I didn’t cut you so bad.’ Most badass line ever!

    Xanthia…how? *sigh* I’m jealous of sims again.

    Twinbrook is my favorite town, but Starlight Shores isn’t TOO bad. (If you have Showtime.) In my opinion it should’ve had a lot more stuff in it, like a mix between Bridgeport and Twinbrook. I like Hidden Springs. It’s pretty and it comes with the fountain of youth! But Lunar Lakes is also really different and it comes with the Tree of Prosperity. But the tree doesn’t work for me for some reason. >:( If none of these work for you, I’d say new Twinbrook.

  3. Yay, I’m so glad to see you back! I can’t wait for new updates! Although I still think Twinbrook is great, I definitely noticed a whole group of uglies in Lunar Lakes. Plus, that world is GORGEOUS.

  4. Yay! Your back! *hugs*
    Twinbrook and Lunar Lakes has some of the ugliest peoples around. :P
    Also I <3 the raccoon.

    • scarletsimphony
    • June 4th, 2012

    I wish losing weight was as easy as it is in the sims XD

    ALSO, you must find a way to make that raccoon yours. He belongs to your life.

    ILU NOW MOAR.

  5. Yes! And update!

    Xanthia’s got dat Judy metabolism going on XD

  6. Yaaay, glad to see your return! The raccoon had me LOL’ing, for serious. XD As for your Error 12s, they should clear up if you transport the family to a new save (it starts because the old save file is too big). Your new PC should help with that as well. If you don’t need to, avoid traveling as that’s one of the big culprits in ballooning a save-file size. I vote a new Twinbrook, since it has the best potential for ooglyness. Someone else suggested Lunar Lakes though, and if you have it, that’s not a bad alternative. ^_^ Good luck!

  7. Bah! That really does suck. So many glitches with The Sims 3, I don’t know if it is just me, but I swear EA leaves things for too long and people end up bringing out mods most of the time to fix what they haven’t.
    Anyway, I was laughing so hard through it all. I relaly do hope you’re computer gets all fixed up.
    I love your commentary! Its so much fun reading this!

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