CHAPTER TWO: The Bigger They Are

Judy and Thor autonomously cuddle in bed.  I think all married sims do that, but it’s cute and I think it’s a good omen for the future of their relationship.  Plus, while she dreams of babies (family-oriented, what?), he’s dreaming of how goddamn fine he is.  It’s cute and accurate at the same time.  And you know he’s copping a feel of her ginormous boob under the covers, too.

PS, ignore the fact that they’re bald for a while in this chapter.  I forgot to delete my caches when I installed Master Controller and it made everybody go hairless for a while.  I was too lazy to fix it without playing for a bit.  Trust me, Thor was scandalized.

Thor and Judy spent their honeymoon skill-building, because, while I do have World Adventures, they don’t have any money.  Since Thor is in the film career, I figured he could benefit from some charisma.

THOR:  Yes, I do realize that I am very attractive, but I promise this will not hinder any personal or business dealings we have in the future!

Judy, meanwhile, was forced by a click of my mouse into exercising, much to her chagrin.  She was watching a soap opera before this.  But I read her history on the Sims Wiki and it’s implied that she used to be skinny.  I don’t see any reason why she can’t be skinny again.  Besides, if we get rid of all that flab, we’ll find out whether or not she has a pretty face – let’s hope not.

JUDY:  I can hear you.

Well if you don’t like what I’m saying, you better keep working.  Bitching isn’t going to get you into a size 6 jean, baldy.  Your ass looks like cottage cheese.

Taking any excuse to stop exercising, Judy “got distracted” by the fact that Leisure Suit Larry was peeping through the window at her.  What the fuck?  Get the hell outta here, you skeevy little weasel!

LARRY:  Larry hasn’t touched breastices that big since he was a toddler, oh no sir.

omg.  You sound like Kreacher, get the fuck off my lawn.

I swear on the grave of Chad Creeper, they did this autonomously.  They keep rolling wants to massage each other, kiss, flirt, and all that mushy shit that would make me feel all warm inside if I was getting laid, but I’m not because I’m trapped in Michigan with a bickering married couple and their obnoxious dog.

By the way, nice undies, Judy.  And nice arms, Thor.  >__>

THOR:  Awwww, yeeeeeeah.

Yeah, yeah, you guys are retardedly cute.  For a couple with leukaemia.  And scientists say cancer isn’t contagious.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.  Didn’t I tell you to get lost, Larry?  And who’s this loser?  What the fuck are they even looking at?  Thor and Judy never do anything interesting because they have ZERO POSSESSIONS.

Oh.  x___x  Gross.  I’m having you guys arrested for Peeping Tomfoolery.

Thor and Judy get a pretty decent-sized paycheque every day since Judy’s level 6 in her job, so I’ve been gradually working on their house.  I ran out of money halfway through constructing the addition.  Oh well, they’ll live.  It’s not like they even know it’s there anyway.

JUDY:  What the barnacle?  Where’d all our savings go?  Our bills are due tomorrow!

Oops.

At this spending rate, they’re going to be needing raises, so Judy needs to up her gardening skill.  Now they have a cute little garden going on in the front yard, so I sent her out to tend it.

JUDY:  I love veggies, because they don’t judge me for being fat.

Maybe if you ate more veggies, you wouldn’t be such a lardass.

JUDY:  >=|

THOR:  WHAT THE FUCK?  Why are you in the bathroom with me?  I’m naked!

I have some questions for you, Thor, darling.

THOR:  Of course.  Fine, let’s get this over with.  What do you want?

 

How do you feel about being married to Judy Bunch?

THOR:  Well at first I thought it was going to suck, because Judy’s pretty goddamn fugly.  I don’t know if you noticed, but she has cankles.

Right.

THOR:  But since we got married, I’ve gotten to know her, and she’s a pretty good lady.  She makes me food and smells like warm laundry and she’s down to woohoo constantly.

 

Oh, Thor.  Thor, Thor, Thor.

THOR:  Wat?

You’re falling in love with her, aren’t you?

THOR:  Uh…

Aw.  Am I embarrassing you?

THOR:  Yes.  Please leave.

Fine, fine.  Have it your way, you big baby.

Anyway, shortly after this conversation, I sent Judy into the bathroom to upgrade the shower and the strangest thing happened.

JUDY:  AHHHH IT HURTS SO BAD.

THOR:  WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ONNNN?

Oh.  Oops.

JUDY:  he he he hoo hoo hoo

THOR:  Oh god, don’t hurt yourself, baby!

Christ.  I feel like I’m on an episode of I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.  Damn it, Judy, why do you have to be such a lardass?

Judy:  Fuck this noise, I’m out.

She’s going to the hospital.

… I hope.  >_>

Thor was supposed to go to a party tonight to schmooze with some celebrities.  I tried to send him after Judy left, but he kept canceling my cue and deciding he was going to go Meet Up With Mother.  It took me a minute to realize he didn’t mean his OWN mother.  What a sentimental loser you are, Thor.

It’s a boy!  And Gunther Goth wants to sell him!

… Creep.

<— Chapter One Chapter Three —>

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  1. He’d probably make some good cash on the street with those genes, eh?

    Nice work. ❤

    *bickers your face*

    • scarletsimphony
    • December 15th, 2010

    Lol in the married world, bickering always leads to sex, right Calli?

    …Or is that just my world?

    Judy didn’t lose weight from working out? I had Claire Ursine work out with the TV once, and I swear in 3 hours she looked like a crack addict.

    Anyway, awesome update, Andiez 😀 I’m glad you had a boy! Or, well, Judy did.

    • Easton is a teenager now and you had another kid. Named some black kid name like Taniqua or something like that.

  2. The picture of Judy while Thor was giving her a massage in her underwear and bald creeped me the hell out. She looked hideous! Great job picking her for spouse, good god.

    • hahahaha Thanks. I figured since the ugliest kids in town were her spawn, it was best to go to the source.

    • devi0us
    • December 17th, 2010

    This is hilarious! Thor is so… he’s a golden GOD! Can’t wait to see how this unfolds! 🙂

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