CHAPTER NINE: BOOM, baby

Oh thank god.

The Jenkins house breathed a sigh of relief the first time Wayne made mac and cheese.  It was like God had sent an ugly person down from the heavens just to make them food.

*angels’ chorus*

So this is me trying to get a start on Zooey’s LTW.  She’s got the Master Mixologist want, so she needs to max out her mixology skills and to buy her own bar.  In order to do this, I, naturally, needed a bar in Sunset Valley.  I dropped Waylan’s Haunt or whatever it’s called into town and sent Zooey over to try moonlighting at the bar.  The bartender was grateful for the relief.

SABRINA:  Three martinis, barkeep!

I later discovered that the bartender, Sabrina Rose, was dating my simself’s son.  He knocked her up and she left him after the baby was born.  Boooooo I don’t get to see my grandson booooo.

ZOOEY:  Wooo!  I feel like Tom Cruise in Cocktail!

I loved that movie when I was a kid.  Before he went crazy and brainwashed Joey from Dawson’s Creek.

Oh, wait, here comes my son to hit on this bartender.

RUSSELL:  hey bb you so fine

SABRINA:  Err-  how much hair gel do you use?

Oh yeah.  This relationship is going to end well.

Anyway, once Zooey’s returned from her Adventures in Bartending, it’s family work out time!  I find it a little weird that Zooey and Wayne both have Athletic AND Daredevil in their traits.  They both like to Extreme Sleep and Do Extreme Cardio.

ZORDON:  Exercise?

ZORDON:  Fuck that.  I’m ordering pizza.

 

And no sooner had the pizza lady (who looks suspiciously like Helen Jolina) showed up with Zordon’s pie than –

What the FUCK, Zooey?

WHAT THE FUCK, ZOOEY?

Well, you have to admit, she’s an adorable pregnant lady.  And, god damnit, she’s quite pretty.  fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

ZOOEY:  It was all part of my plan to gain heirship.  I tricked all the voters into thinking I was ugly!  BUT I’M HOT BWAHAHAHA-ow.  What the – ow!

 

ZOOEY:  Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

That’ll teach ya.  Bitch.

WAYNE:  So…. what just happened?

I don’t even know, buddy.

Anyway, that baby is, apparently, the first of generation two.  Her name is Yasmin.  She’s a Pisces who likes Chinese music, stu surprise and spice brown.  She rolled eccentric and easily impressed.

Please be ugly, please be ugly, please be ugly.

Uh, so… before Zooey popped, I’d been planning to send Zordon to Champs Les Sims to get some shit for his nectary.  And apparently his travel agent called back just as Zooey was getting back to the house.  I guess Zordon just didn’t want to deal with the hormones.

He took out his frustrations about his sister by stomping on some fruit.

The hours approaching, to give it your best
You’ve got to reach your prime.

 

That’s when you need to put yourself to the test
And show us a passage of time

 

We’re gonna need a montage (montage)

 

Ooh it takes a montage (montage)!!!!

 

<— Chapter Eight Chapter Ten —>

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    • scarletsimphony
    • January 31st, 2011

    Eff you Zooey, for being so hawt.

    And wtf Zordon, you’ve got muscles on your fat 😄

  1. i lOl’d at the heavenly macaroni xD

    and, um, HOW’D ZOOEY GET SO PRETTY

  2. Zooey’s hot?! Not cool Zooey D:<

    And Zordon, you are too fat to be ripped!

    • Zordon is such a creep, with his muscly fat. He just managed to get Thor’s muscle tone AND Judy’s body type. Weirdo.

  3. Oh dear god, his back fat has ABS. And it is so not fair that Zoey’s cute! She needs to get ugly, and fast! I hope Wayne can take them on a drive down ugly lane.

    • Kayla
    • February 3rd, 2014

    hey,maybe Zordon looks more handsome if he was skinnier,too.

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