CHAPTER TEN: Sacre Bleu!

JUDY:  What the fuuuuuuck?  Why are there zombies at my wedding?  😦

Poor Judy.  She came from an era before virtual reality gaming.

THOR:  Viola!  I am une artiste!

Thor’s really been in the mood for French ever since Zordon got back from Champs Les Sims, all of fifteen seconds ago.  He doesn’t even care that his dead wife is floating around the kitchen taking advantage of the gaming system he got sent just because he’s famous LIKE A FOX.

Now then.  I think I speak for everyone when I say – what the ever-loving fuck?

There is a naked woman in our living kitchen room.  And, Murphy’s law, I never had this problem until I downloaded a No Mosaic hack.

So I sent Thor to investigate.

THOR:  So, Zordon.  Would you happen to know anything about the naked woman in my kitchen?

ZORDON:  What?  Oh, yeah, that’s my wife.

THOR:  Wife?!

 

ZORDON:  Ow!

ZORDON:  Fuck you, Dad!  That gave me a Charlie horse!

THOR:  You brought home a strange French woman and married her?!

 

ZORDON:  No!  DUH!  I married her before I brought her home.

THOR:  Wow, you actually are as stupid as you look.  I thought you just took after your mother.

 

I don’t think Zooey’s noticed the naked French lady though.  She’s too busy trying to work off that double chin again.

ZOOEY:  It’s just baby weight ARGGGGH

Poor kid.  She’s got a case of The Judys.

YASMIN:  *babbles*

 

That poor baby.  I wonder if anyone even noticed that she had her birthday.  Not that I really noticed until my camera refocused on her.

Huh.  You don’t look ugly.  Asshole baby.  >=|

Have you guys even seen ugly toddlers in Sims 3?  I know I’ve seen really cute ones, which she’s not, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that was legitimately ugly.  Maybe this isn’t a bad sign.

YASMIN:  Errr…. 😦

Quiet.  You haven’t learned to talk yet.

Mummy came in to investigate the birthday goings-on, and LO AND BEHOLD!  A strange French woman!

ZOOEY:  Qu’est-ce que c’est?!

THERESE:  Sacre bleu!  Are you ‘errr mohzair?

ZOOEY:  Uh.  What?

THERESE:  Err mohzair!  Zee one ooo ‘ad zee baybay.

ZOOEY:  Oh!  Yeah.  That’s my daughter.  Why, what’d she do?

THERESE:  ho ho ho!  Ooo are quite amuzine.  I am ‘appy we are seestairs!

ZOOEY:  k?

~~~~ 24 hours previous ~~~~

THERESE:  Oh, bonjour!  I am Therese Petit.  Ooo are Zordon Jenkeens, non?  Zee son of zee famous Thor Jenkeens?

ZORDON:  I have such an erection right now.

 

~~~~ 4 hours after that ~~~~

ZORDON:  Look, Therese.  I know we don’t know each other very well, but I’m going back to Sunset Valley in the morning, and then I’ll never see you again because we’re poor and I’m pretty sure I’m going to get kicked out of my house soon.

THERESE:  Ow can zee famous peeple be poor?

ZORDON:  That’s not the point.  The point is, I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.  So…

 

ZORDON:  Will you marry me?

 

THERESE:  Oh, oui!  Right ‘ere, right now!  Je t’adore!

 

 

<— Chapter Nine Chapter Eleven —>

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  1. I smell trouble with Therese. She likes money and Zordon has none.

  2. Oh god I laughed so hard my roommates yelled at me for keeping them awake! Silly little Zordon and his poor poor new naked wife.

    • Matt
    • January 31st, 2011

    Zee one ooo ‘ad zee baybay! Epic. 😀

    • Calli
    • January 31st, 2011

    *snicker*

    I like the shotgun marriage. Seems quite Zordon-esque, I suppose. 😄 Or maybe French women just do that, idk. :3

    Boo on Yasmin being not-ugly. I don’t recall having any not-ugly toddlers either but then again, I wasn’t trying for that. Maybe she’ll grow up to be supremely ugly though *crosses fingers*

  3. wht baby not ugly?! D:< and lOl at random nekked French chick xD

  4. Omg, I laughed so freaking hard at that naked lady in the living room. I could’nt breath XD.

    • selahgio
    • September 23rd, 2011

    Yes I’ve seen ugly toddlers O_O Try having a baby with Juan Darer of Twinbrook, most babies he has turns out just like him nose and everything x.o

  5. I’ve only seen a few ugly toddlers, when the sliders are pulled all one way or the other, but very rarely. But if you really want ugly sims, you need to send your uglacy to Twinbrook! No uglier sets than there – it’s hard to do a regular legacy because of all the ugly. But there is hope for Yasmine, maybe she’ll get her dad’s ugly nose at least?

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