CHAPTER ELEVEN: No Babies Allowed!

ZOOEY:  hee hee hee hoo hoo hoo

?___?  This again?  If you didn’t work out so compulsively, your water probably wouldn’t have broken.  I think you have a disorder.

ZOOEY:  Fuck – hee hee – offffff hoo hoo

 

Hey, Wayne, your wife’s in labour – oh.

… Happy birthday.

Eugh.  Dude, you aged into the Pillsbury Doughboy.

Look’s like Zooey isn’t the only one who has a case of The Judys.

THERESE:  Aaaaaaargh!  What eees happening to meeee?

Jesus Christ.

Alright, I’m sick of babies.  So I’m going to do us all a favour and fast forward to the good part.  Okay?  Okay.

This is Renee, Therese and Zordon’s daughter.  She’s a friendly virtuoso, born a Leo, who enjoys soul music, goopy carbonara, and the colour purple.  (lol The Color Purple)

And this is Yvonne, Zooey and Wayne’s second daughter.  She was born a Virgo, and rolled couch potato and heavy sleeper.  She likes pop music, grilled salmon and the colour orange.  And, fuck my life, she’s cute.  Kind of.  She’s got the same pointy nose as every other kid born in this legacy, and her mouth is kind of weird.

Would it be cheating if I downloaded Leroy Secksie and just let Story Progression run amuck with him in my town?

Sidenote:  This is why Gardening takes forever here.  Now that I kicked out Zordon, Therese, and their dumb baby (btw, I kicked them out), I’ve set Thor to do the nectar making on his days off, since he only works 3 days a week as a Superstar Actor – hence the trailer.  I need to get them up to $50k asap so I can buy Zooey her goddamn bar.  She’s also working as a painter.  Money nao plz?

Speaking of Zooey’s painting… what the fuck?!

NSFW LOL.  But as you can see, she’s pregnant again.   And from the wants everyone’s rolling, I’m not the only one who’s hoping for a boy this time around.  But I’ll settle for a girl again as long as she’s butt ugly.

Okay.  Now it’s been a while since I’ve held a birthday party.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but… aren’t people supposed to celebrate around the cake?  Why is Therese the only fucking person in the kitchen?

Oh, I see.  It’s because everyone is watching Yasmin’s grandma, Justine Keaton, play the piano.  And she SUCKS at it.

GET IN THE GODDAMN KITCHEN, ZORDON.

Awesome.  Blow out those candles, baby!  And age into something hideous!  GO GO GO!

Will somebody please tell me why sims all go cross-eyed when they age up?  This is really upsetting, because I keep hoping they stay that way, and they never do.  😦

YASMIN:  DERP

She aged with Athletic locked in.  I AM SO SICK OF ATHLETIC SIMS AAAAARGH ALLCAPS!!!!!

Also, will somebody please tell me how to age up a toddler without locking in a trait?  My toddlers are always so pissy.  Baw, I learned how to talk and how to walk and I got potty trained but my life is so hard, bawwwwwww.

Go, Yvonne, go!   I can’t deal with another Athletic sim!  It’s so boring.  I swear, I’m just going to start re-rolling every time I get that fucking trait.

WAYNE:  WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Could you even tell she was pregnant?  She got fat again either way.  Baby weight my ass!

So we’re off to the hospital in Wayne’s stolen cop car.  Awkward.

And when we return…

… this is the new nursery.  I redid the cribs to represent the bbs favourite colours, and now they have that Beautiful Vista moodlet even when they’re crapping their pants.  Which is a lot.

That one with the pink crib?  He’s gay.  I said so.

Also, they don’t get introductions until they’re toddlers.  Because I said so.

I gave Yasmin a new hairdo.  And this is her autonomously doing her homework.  She’s obviously a nerd.

YASMIN:  grumble grumble addition subtraction grumble

ZOOEY:  who’s da widdle bb?  is it his birthday? yes it is, yes it is.  whosdababysocutebabyawwwww

 

BAM.  Toddler.

BAM.  Another toddler.

The only problem now is… I can’t remember which one is which.

 

<— Chapter Ten Chapter Twelve —>

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    • laurennnn
    • February 2nd, 2011

    I love how Zooey’s weight seems to fluctuate from frame to frame.

  1. hahahah Because I said so.

  2. Zooey in the buff. That was a big naked butt.

  3. I had the whole fat problem with Malcolm Landgraab, he’d get all thin and muscley in five minutes, and the next morning he’d gain all that fat back.

    I don’t think it be technically cheating if Leroy was running around. He used to be at the exchange, but they deleted him, I’ll have to re-add him one day :\

  4. I think it would only be cheating if you put him in town to marry him straight. But letting Story Progression wreak havoc? Perfectly fine.

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