CHAPTER FOURTEEN: That’s a Fascinating Piece of Information If You’re a Boring Person

Somebody started a rumour that Zooey had been arrested, so I took her to City Hall to sue for slander.  We won $1800, but had to give up half of it in legal fees.  No big deal though, Zooey was satisfied.  She celebrated her win by catching butterflies on the way home.

Why the hell are you making that face?  You’re going to get stuck like that, Yvonne.

YVONNE:  That’s what I’m hoping for.  If I get stuck like this, maybe I have a chance at heir.

That girl really wants to be heir.  I don’t think the rest of the kids really give a shit though.  Except maybe Yasmin, who doesn’t have a chance anyway.  She’s taken to raising her Inventing skill in an attempt to get me to like her so that I’ll let her take over when it’s time for Gen 2.

Unfortunately, it’s not going very well.  I’m taking a sick pleasure in watching her ass burn.


At first, I wasn’t too concerned.

But then –


Well that’s not good.  That’s not good at all.

Okay, now I’m starting to get nervous.  I don’t want to have a Leroy Secksie on my hands.

YASMIN:  This is not what I had in mind when I started building my time machine!

I’m trying, man!  I sent the whole goddamn family to extinguish you and they’re all taking their sweet goddamn time!

YVONNE:  Do you think if I just stand here and let her die I’ll have a better shot at heir?

YASMIN:  Put me out, you fat bitch!  I’m not even in the fucking running!

Christ.  Talk about sibling love.

Luckily, Daddy came to the rescue.  Only then did Yvonne break out her fire extinguisher.  What a bitch.

THOR:  Oh dear.  That is not your best look, dear.

Yeeeeah.  We’d better fix that shower and shove Yasmin in it before she starts to stink up the house.

Now, Thor doesn’t particularly like making nectar, but I make him do it because I bought all this shit for Zordon and I built a goddamn nectar cellar and there’s going to be fucking nectar in it if it’s the last thing I do.  Plus, he has like 4 days a week off and only works for 3 hours on the days he actually goes to work and he needs something to do when I’m not making him tend the garden.

THOR:  grumblegrumblegrumble nectar-making grumble


He stopped being mad at me for the nectar-making after I forced Yasmin to make one of these.  Now gardening is Thor’s favourite thing ever.

THOR:  Awwww yeeeeeeeah

And there’s Yasmin playing with her pretty new time machine.  She’s been to the future three times now and not brought anybody exciting home.  RUDE.

And you guys know what this means.  A crowd outside the house?  It could only be a birthday party.  And yeah, this time I actually did throw a party.  Because this isn’t just any birthday party.  Let’s play Count the Cakes!




Three?  Oops.  I was late on this one.  That old guy is Wayne, in case you couldn’t tell.

As for the other after-shots…

Yael!  He gained the Vehicle Enthusiast trait.

And –

Yash!  He rolled Vegetarian.

That’s it for this chapter.  I know, I know, it’s really short and boring and I didn’t update as soon as I said I would and I suck.  D=

I think I’m going to try something new with my next chapter, and try to give each of the kids more of their own face time.  GOD I WISH THEY WERE ALL MORE UGLY.  At least there’s always Yoshi, but he’s cute and not even in this chapter.  Where the fuck did he go? Meh.

<— Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fifteen —>

  1. I’m trying, man! I sent the whole goddamn family to extinguish you and they’re all taking their sweet goddamn time!

    XD ahahah I laughed so hard. It was a great chapter, give yourself credit ;]

  2. Yash isn’t too pretty – but then, you’re only in gen 2. a few more generations and they’ll get uglier.

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