CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Another Death in the Family

So last night on Facebook, I posted an update that said something along the lines of “Could tomorrow bring another chapter of The Jenkins Uglacy?” And my asshole cousin posted and said, “No. Just 6 more hours of Fable III and feeling like a medium-sized bag of ass.”

You see, I’ve had pneumonia. I know, I know. You’re going “Who gets pneumonia? What is this, the 1800s?”

But yeah. I got pneumonia.

This didn’t stop the Jenkins family from grieving the death of generation two’s oldest, the very beautiful and intelligent Yasmin, who tragically died of electrocution via stove upgrade last update.

Ever unsympathetic and stubborn, Yasmin’s ghost refused to stick around to be dragged to the afterlife amidst all this blubbering, so Grim had to go searching for her in the Jenkins’ new house.

YASMIN:  Oh.  Hey, what’s up.

Nice hair.  And… panties?

Because of the move, the family graveyard had to be relocated.  To the living room.  And so, here Yasmin lies, prematurely deceased, and next to her long-dead grandmother Judy.

For those of you who are interested, Yasmin is up for download on TS3.com and Mediafire.  Her profile page is now also up in the navigation bar.

Farewell, Yasmin.  Despite the fact that you were far too pretty to be heiress, I actually really liked you as a sim.  You were the most amusing.  😦  And I wanted to make you a vampire.

Though the family had just moved to a new house mere days before Yasmin’s death, they couldn’t bear to stay in that house any longer.  And so they reloaded their still-packed boxes into Thor’s Superstar Actor trailer and moved.  To Twinbrook.

Those of you who’ve played in Twinbrook will recognize this gigantic house.  It’s the Racket Mansion.  Of course, since this is an Uglacy, and Shark Racket was featured in a prettacy, I had to move them out and let them die the unhappy, painful death of a family left in the clipboard when I left Edit Town mode.

These are just a few shots of the house, which is fucking massive so I decided against a full tour.  It’s got 7 goddamn bedrooms, so I figured it was perfect for a legacy family.  I think I’m going to get bored with it fairly quickly though and move the next gen into an adorable little 3 bedroom or something.  There are some cute fucking houses in Twinbrook (because I put them there).

So since I’ve decided Yash is going to be heir because he’s the only fucking one who’s even remotely unattractive, I decided to take him exploring.  And as you can see here, his first act as underage!heir-to-be was to walk into some fucking weeds.  What a Creeper.

Then the weirdest thing happened.

YASH:  Hey, check out that hot blonde talking with that old lady.

You think she’s hot?  … I guess, man.  Whatever floats your boat.  But hey, if she’s ugly enough, we have a potential spouse on our hands!

YASH:  =D

Maybe you should go talk to her!

YASH:  OH GOD NO I WOULD DIE    D=

Back at home… LOL SIDEBOOB

Zooey is enjoying the new bathroom.  I have to admit, it’s quite stylish.

ZOOEY:  Scrubadubdub get the fuck out I’m in the tub

Right.

YASH:  Hay it’s my birthday!  =D

When did you get home?

YASH:  I ran.  =D

Right.  So the twins are having their birthday.  Yash gained the trait of Perceptive, and so his lifetime want is Pervasive Private Eye.

… While I’m on the subject of birthdays, Yvonne had hers last chapter and I didn’t include it because I decided I didn’t care.  I didn’t even write down what trait she got.  But her lifetime want is Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous.

YAEL:  Hosht my turn!

YASH:  *blares*

YAEL:  o___o

Yael gained the trait of Evil, and his lifetime want is to become a Master Thief.

YAEL:  >=]

And, uh… while we’re on the subject of birthdays…

ZOOEY:  Wooooo!

Haha, you’re old!

ZOOEY:  fuckplz

Okay.  Now.  I don’t know who this guy is, or why the camera panned to him, but – DUDE.  YOU ARE NOT MY ACTIVE SIM.  I CANNOT SAVE YOU.

I hope you’re okay, man.

Oh, Thor.  Darling.  I’ve missed you so.

THOR:  You know, Andie, I don’t think I’m quite as attractive as I used to be.

Oh, bullshit.  You’re the most attractive 116-year-old man I’ve ever met.

Now, on one hand, I love my Thor and I don’t want him to ever die.  On the other hand… WHAT IF HE NEVER DIES?  I’ve never had a sim live this long.  I’m half-convinced he’s going to survive through all ten generations of this goddamn uglacy.

Oh, come on!  Guys!  Who left the stove on?!

YOSHI:  Everybody chill the fuck out.  I got this.

Aww.  My hero.  =)

Um… Yoshi?

YOSHI?!

<— Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Seventeen —>

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  1. THE FAMILY IS CURSED!!!!! D=

    On that note, did the guy who randomly got set on fire by the inventor’s table survive? 😄

    ….NO ONE IS SAFE!!!!

    • koolkat
    • April 19th, 2011

    WTF anothor death and he justs stands their like an asshole.

  2. Aw jeez, another one bit the dust! I hope Twinbrook provides you with all the ugly you need. Hope you kick the pneumonia and feel better soon!

  3. TWINBROOK! YEAH!

    Now that was suicide if I have ever seen one, Yoshi.

    Ah, rest assured, Thor will kill over soon enough, they always do when you least expect them too.

    Oh and good luck with your pneumonia, that sucks D:

    • Calli
    • April 20th, 2011

    OH NOES! DDD:

    Your sims have terrible luck. Or are insufferably stupid. Or both 😄

    • Rad
    • April 21st, 2011

    Nooooo! Twinbrook, though, is the uglacy gift that keeps giving. Trust me.

  4. Twinbrook! Yay, now we’re certain to get some ugly in the family.

    But Yoshi dude, wtf? Fire would be an awful way to commit suicide.

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