CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: No Deaths In the Family (Finally) – Part One

GRIM: I AM THE GRIM REAPER, HERE TO CLAIM YOUR YOUNGEST.

FIREFIGHTER: Oh, hey, dead guy. You really should be more careful.

Fucking firefighters, man.  WHY DO YOU GUYS SUCK SO BADLY?  Your response time is bullshit.

YOSHI:  Please, Mr. Grim Reaper!  Spare me!  I’m too young to die; I don’t even have my fifth trait yet!

GRIM:  Let me think…  lolno.

And so died the young and handsome Yoshi Jenkins, apparently too retarded to move out of the flaming area of his house.

But, alas.  The show must go on.  We have a new heir and no spouse, so despite the doubled grief the family was facing I sent Yash out to search for uglies.



YASH:  Oh, old Mr. Indian man, my littlest brother died in a fire not two hours ago!  My heart!  It breaks!

INDIAN MAN:  I’m having trouble taking you seriously when you’re wearing those shoes.

But then – who should walk by but Yash’s mystery girl!



omg.  Get her, Yash!



MYSTERY GIRL:  Can I help you?

YASH:  Yeah, I…  I just wanted to tell you that you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.

MYSTERY GIRL:  … I’m a guy.  My name is Erich.

YASH:  Oh.  Well I must be gay then LOL

ERICH:  Right.  Cool, g2g bai.




THOR:  Well this is new.

Thor.  Buddy.  Seriously?  Did you seriously just die while taking a dump?

THOR:  I didn’t get a chance to flush.  =[




THOR:  Um… hello?




I guess Grim’s been here so many times in the past few days that he feels like he’s at home, because he didn’t even bother going to collect Thor.  He just went immediately to a spare bedroom and picked up a book.

GRIM:  This one was on Oprah’s book list!

Oh, by the way.  I lied in the chapter title when I said nobody died.  >=D



Yash stayed out all night, contemplating his newfound gayness and completely unaware of the unfortunately-placed death of his grandfather.  He decided to rummage through some garbage cans for clues on his cases while everyone was still asleep.



YASH:  No one’s looking, right?

Nah.  You’re good, I’ve got your back.



YASH:  Ewwww, I put my hand in old puke.  I’m going home.  =[

And apparently I didn’t take enough pictures.   So this is going to be part one.  Next time: marriage?



<— Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen part two —>

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  1. Thorrrrrr!!! ;_;

    • I know. ;__; I’m so sad. He deserved to die in a much more dignified way.

      • Well at least he went out like Elvis.. that’s kinda like … yea no, dying on the toilet still sucks ;_:

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