CHAPTER NINETEEN: The Erich Show, Featuring Birthdays

OH COME ON.

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Awww, yeeeah. You skill the shit out of that toddler, Yash.

What’s that?  I skipped the whole part where the babies were actually babies?

Fine.  You want to know what you’re missing?

A whole lot of this —

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This is pretty much it.  For three days, everybody stayed exactly like this.  And I was okay with it, because it gave me a chance to take another shot of that GQ motherfucker Wayne, who’s lost a lot of weight unlike his superfat wife.

Actually, she doesn’t look too big in this picture.  Good on you, Zooey.

Okay, I’m lying.  Standing around wasn’t all they did.  I did force Erich to skill a bit.

… A lot.

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Look at the state of that toilet.  It’s a good thing Erich’s upgrading it to self-cleaning, because goddamn.

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This is also a frequent occurrence these days.  It’s somewhat frustrating because it always happens when one of the sims that are STILL ALIVE are about to pee their pants.

Yoshi’s just pissed that he burned to death.

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This is our first born, Xena.  She was birthed by Yash.  She was born with Light Sleeper and Slob locked in, because apparently Yash had a very rough pregnancy.  She’s an Aquarius (yay me) and enjoys soul music, cobbler, and the colour turquoise.

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This is the only boy of the group.  Xavier was born second of four, birthed by Erich.  He’s an Aries, and rolled Loves the Outdoors and Neurotic.  I guess Erich’s pregnancy went pretty well.

He likes Chinese music, fish and chips, and aqua-coloured things.

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This is Xander.  She was born third overall, birthed by Yash.  She’s an Aries, and rolled Virtuoso and Adventurous.  She likes Chinese music, egg rolls and seafoam.

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And last but not least, this is Xanthia.  She was born of Erich, and rolled Easily Impressed and Evil.  She’s an Aries, who likes roots music, sushi, and the colour blue.

TOO MANY BABIES GODDAMN.

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Come on, Wayne, you skinny, stinky Hawaiian bastard.  Skill that little boy before he ages with Unable To Walk locked in!

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XANDER:  om nom rabbit nom

Right.  Remind me never to get you kids any pets.

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So Zooey got invited to a party at her nephew Cyriaque’s shack house soon after Zordon died (sadface).  It was the worst party ever.  A bunch of people showed up but Zooey was the only one who would go inside.  I think everybody else was afraid they’d get HIV.

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amg!  Judy!

I haven’t seen you since we moved to Twinbrook!

You know what, I’m glad that you weren’t a total whale when you died.  It would make seeing your ghost super depressing.

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Now, I’ve taken a real shine to following Erich to work.  And the first time I did, he got called to his first emergency, a small house fire!  yaaaay!

Turns out it was at Renee’s house.  I’m bored with her though, until she gives me a bb.  She and Reginald Hudson have been engaged for like twelve years.  Goddamn.

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Ah ha!  Another emergency!  This time, something’s going down at this cafe thing I forgot the name of.

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Hmm.  Interesting.

Luckily, Erich fucked that shit up.

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When he’s not being a fire-fighting, plant-killing badass, Erich upgrades firetrucks.  Damn, baby, for someone with such an ugly face, you’re kinda sexy.

ERICH:  Thanks, but I still dig the shaft.

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Get it?  Shaft?

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…  That is a lot of cake.  >__>

Alright.  Okay.

Deep breath.

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BAM BAM BAM – Wait, what?

Fuck.  Guess I only took one candle shot.  The rest of you kids are SOL.

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XENA:  I’m sad because I’m ugly.  =[

Or maybe it’s because you rolled Mooch.

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Xavier had Loser locked in.  I think he’s a loser because he’s not ugly enough to be heir.  FUCK YOU, KID.

XAVIER:  I just want to be loved.  =[

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Xander had mean-spirited locked in.  She looks pretty, and her trait makes me think she’s doing it on purpose.  LITTLE BITCH, I HOPE YOU DIE.

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And Xanthia rolled eccentric.  I wonder where the hell she got those green eyes.

At least it looks like she inherited her dad’s chub.  Too bad that’s not enough to make her ugly.

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As a parting shot, you get a look at this generations’ portraits.

Next time:  More birthdays?  Will the kids grow out of their looks?  Will I ever make this family ugly?  I don’t know, I haven’t played ahead at all.  D=

WISH ME UGLIES.

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<— Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Twenty —>

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  1. Xena looks like she’s going to be awesome. She reminds me of a potato.

  2. ahaha potato XD. Aww I hope you get some uggos soon :[ You get cursed with good looking simmies lol! Xena looks promising though.

  3. I think it’s the blonde hair, it makes them look prettier than they actually are. Xena definitely has potential. You need to get some Curious genetics in this bloodline, that will ugly it right up.

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