CHAPTER ONE: The Ugly Truth

Thor built himself a cute little red house, with his BARE HANDS because he’s the man your man could smell like!

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Drown the kids and shoot the neighbours!

Would you look at this suave motherfucker?  You’ve never seen such a goddamn good-looking son of a bitch in your whole goddamn life.  No point in denying it – you just came in your pants, I know you did.  He knows you did too, look how smug he is.


This dreamy motherfucker is Thor Jenkins and he’s the smoothest dog you’ve ever met.

He’ll open car doors for you and buy you dinner before he nails you, and you’ll try to say no but you’ll fail because LOOK AT THAT GODDAMN FACE.  It’s like angels came out of the sky and impregnated his mother, and she was the luckiest bitch you ever did see because her son is the founder of the greatest goddamn legacy in the whole goddamn world.  He fell out of the Awesome Tree and hit every branch on the way down, and then he fell in the Lake of Amazing.

You can’t wait to read his legacy.  You’re drooling in your lap right now, and that’s the smartest thing you’ve done all day.  Thor Jenkins deserves your goddamn drool.  He stepped right out of a romance novel to grace your boring life with his presence, but you don’t have to thank him.  He’s just that fucking considerate, goddamn.

You know you’re gonna stay tuned for the first chapter, and Thor can’t wait till you read it, ’cause all he wants to do in life is please you with his insane fucking muscles and his goddamn Fabio hair, shit yeah.  He loves you, baby, and he’ll give you a call as soon as he’s not so busy being fucking amazing.


Chapter One —>